With the increasing rise of divorce and single parents in all parts of the world, we should learn the recipe to happiness. Some people may know the recipe to happiness which is wonderful but what about the rest of us? How can we protect ourselves from a broken heart? Who am I to say I know the recipe? I don’t.
I can only guide you to avoid you being caught in the hands of a fraud. There are so many people out there trying to get our money, get leave to stay in the uk by marrying a British Citizen. The demand for this is so high that the fraudsters feel nothing for you but will do anything to get what they want including pretend they love you, shower you with gifts and sweet words until they get what they want. After that you are nothing and they walk out without even looking back at you.
You were nothing to them from the beginning. Just a tool to get from A to B. Do not believe that you are so special that they love you and only love you. Of course some may be genuine but when you are in love you do not see what is in front of you. Listen to what others are saying including your family. They can usually see the real thing; the live performance in front of their eyes. But you know what, we are always right, isn’t it?
So now to the answer to this question: How do you know when someone you love is using you? Unless you spend a lot of physical time with your partner or friend they cannot love you. The number of hours you spend together are vital. I understand quality is important too but in relationships a bond cannot happen without the physical time spent. This is my experience of love. There will be many out there to disagree with me but I know that you can not love someone by not being with them and just being on the phone all the time for example. Distant relationships can work if the 2 people have spent a lot of time together before being parted. Remember that after being parted, distance can always cause a barrier to the relationship blossoming also. They say distance makes the heart grow fonder. That is true too but not so much distance that you do not see other for months on end and the other person takes consolation in someone new who lives nearer to them. Of course this depends on the strength of your love with that person before you separated also.
If you find that your partner does not want to spend time with you as much as he or she does with their friends then you need to wonder why he or she is with you? Arguing with your partner about this will not give you the true answer. Silence speaks a thousand words. I am a Psychic tarot cards reader and I believe we all need to meditate and take some me time alone to think about each day that passes. Close your eyes and perhaps rest on the sofa just thinking. You can of course do this sitting at your desk but not staring at the computer. You do not even need to close your eyes but you do need to close all other thoughts out of your mind and just think about the problem at hand. Be calm and relaxed when doing this breathing normally.
Intuition and gut feelings will give you the answer. Children and babies use this innate power to tell whether a person is good or evil. They can usually sense the good or bad aura of a person when they enter the room. If you have kids check this out yourself. I studied Psychology to degree level and one of the most interesting things I found out about babies is that they even know if it is a boy or girl baby in front of them while both are fully clothed. You know babies look the same at birth and afterwards for a long time. However it is the dilation of their eyes that are different when they are in front of a boy or girl. This has been scientifically proven. it would be normal for a baby to be apprehensive of strangers as we should also be. Babies are more vulnerable physically and mentally but are we not the same even as adults. The amount of damage strangers have done to adults. We are usually very trusting when we have grown up thinking we can tell the difference between good and evil but we are so busy rushing about in our lives that we do not notice what is really in front of us. We need to stop now and again and think about this.
So what happened to us as adults? Why did we lose that innate ability? Actually some of us still have that ability if only we would follow what our sixth sense is telling us? I urge you to follow that third sense as I do. It will help you realise the truth of your relationship which may be that you are in a good relationship even. Many times I have made excuses for friends who hardly ever visited me saying ohh they are probably just busy and have their own problems. Is that true?
Then the time came when a tragedy happened to me in my life and I got clear perspective of all the people around me. In fact the friends I believed were my true friends disappeared. My true friends turned up on my doorstep in my time of need. I loved those friends who did not contact me for a very long time after I realised they did not love me in return.
Now when I look back I realise that those friends I loved and I would shower with birthday presents every year forgot my birthday every year. They never turned up with presents like I did to their house. It is the same in a love relationship. Does he or she care or remember your Birthday or Valentines Day. He or she does not have to be a romantic and give you a present but he should be with you on that special day of yours whether it be your Birthday or Valentines Day. After all do we really want the present or do we want to spend our special time with our partner either just watching tv together or enjoying a nice takeaway together or just cooking and fighting in the kitchen all day. I think being together is the most important thing to prove love to me. I don’t need the fancy car or the diamond ring because when I leave this world I leave all that behind. I want to know that I have spent my time here enjoying myself with my partner not staring at the diamond ring he gave me and he is not with me.
This is a subject very close to my heart due to the experiences I have had and I believe it is this previous experience that opened my eyes. People like me only realise our mistakes after making the mistakes. We cannot read a blog like this and learn from it. At least I could not. I always thought I was right. I can write for ever on this subject but this is a blog not a thesis. I would like you to spend some alone time today and think about the relationships in your life and put each one in its correct box. Do not do what I did and loved everybody when I later found they did not love me back. I am talking about friends, family and partners. Love comes in many forms and whichever form it takes it should be the real thing. We need to learn to see through the ones that want to fool us and see the ones that truly love us.
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Tina Sawhney – Psychic Tarot Cards Reader
BSc Hons Psychology, VAI Diploma in Aromatherapy & Reflexology
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